Becoming a Family Based Youth Ministry

Thinking about youth ministry theologically and practically and through an evaulation of our current ministry to youth and families at our congregation, I discovered that I wasn't offering a family friendly youth ministry. So, the information that follows, is the natural result of many hours of evaulation.

Notice, I begin with our new mission statement. I will be honest, our old mission statement was one that reflected a Purpose Driven Model. There is nothing wrong with the Purpose Driven model. However, it was time to create a mission statement that reflected my theology of youth ministry and how to integrate families into the mix. After beginning with a new mission statement, you will find two sections that discuss the general/specific needs of teens in our context and the general/specific needs of families in our context as well.

Mission Statement 2.0:
Our aim is to meet students where they are developmentally, and help them navigate the tight-rope (Dr. Chapman Clark, I believe is the originator of this notion of adolescence being a tight-rope -- you can appreciate this image of a teenager transitoning into adulthood, crossing over from childhood to adulthood) of adolescence, providing a Christ centered community where students can experience life, ministry, and worship together and with caring and nurturing adults; explore and own their faith, ask questions, discover and use their spiritual giftedness and lead them to a life-long pursuit of Christ with their journeymates. A necessary component of our ministry to adolescents is their families, so in addition to meeting the students where they are, building relationship with the whole family, and providing training, resources, and offering encouragement should be a staple of my youth ministry context. I want our parents to feel welcome, valued, needed and that they are a vital part of the overall youth ministry program.

Specific Needs of Teens:

Pyschosocial, enviornmental/cultural senstivity – Our teens may not word it this way, but I do think from our time we have spent together that they desire ministry that targets them where they are on the developmental pendulum and that is culturally relevant.

Peer relationships – There are eight to nine school districts that make up our student population. When I interviewed here, I asked the kids then what one area they felt needed improvement, and they cited group unity. I have spent a great deal of time talking about the importance of family and unity. Even after two years the youth group needs training on how to survive with their peers.

Acceptance – As noted above, teens are looking for safety. My teens are no different. They need to know that the adults in their world will not abandon them. In order to do this, first we must be willing to accpet teens as they are, as they come and love them into the kingdom.

Journey – I have tried to encourage our students to see the Christian life as a journey. A journey is a better image than outcome based discipleship. I want our teens to see the Christian life as an adventure, full of twists and turns, a life of constant surprise. I know our kids want to see a faith that allows them to make messes and see the mess of others, and get their hands dirty in the process of ministering to others.

General/Specific Needs of Families:

This idea of safety – Our families and teens both need a safe and secure environment to connect to God and to others. Creating a safe atmosphere must be intentional as well as the building of genuine Christian community.

As community is being built, what I think should flow naturally out of this process is older parents mentoring the younger parents – This is a need because, “Been there, done that” parents can minister more effectively through the adolescent experience than a youth minister who is wet behind the ears. These older parents can offer parental tips that the inexperienced youth minister can not offer. For example, one very real need that that would and should be addressed is the need for parents to parent through the crafting of clear boundaries and consistency in discipline.

In order for the older parents to minister to the less experienced parents, another need that arises is the need for equipping – It is my understanding of ministry to families that requires the youth minister to be an encourager and equipper to help understand the changing landscape of adolescence, and the youth culture at large. Youth ministers are positioned to be missionaries to youth and families in a culture that at times is foreign even to the natives.

Healthy Christian families must recognize the importance of the parental roles. While the youth minister may have an integral role in the spiritual life of the churched teenager, the spiritual influence and mentoring of mom and dad is of first importance. I think what needs to happen in our setting is a reorientation to the importance of discipleship, and the need to live out the faith that is being claimed on Sunday and Wednesday. If authenticity is valued in the postmodern world, teenagers must see their parents living out an active, authentic faith.

One of the needs that has been cited by a few of my adult volunteers is the need for a feeling of being needed. I will talk more about this in the section of programming. But for now, I will say that our families desire opportunities to do life and ministry together. I think this huge potential to help display the authenticity that our teenagers are looking for in the lives of their parents.

The need for intentional community – I have touched a little on this earlier, but there is a desire for our teenagers to be connected to their peers as well as learn how to be in relationships with other adult members of the congregation. The last thing we want our kids today is to live out their faith alone. I would add that I do not want to give the impression that our youth ministry is a “One Eared Mickey Mouse.”

The need to be grounded in the Word – In my observation and conversation with my teen’s parents there has been a frequent mention of the importance of Scripture. I think this desire to be grounded in the Word is a good and needed ambition.

The need for slower schedule –Our families have cited a busy youth group calendar as a good thing and at times as a burden. I have noticed that for many of our active parents, they have active kids involved in a number of extra-curricula activities as well as a number of youth activities. I have felt like I am in a competition with the families for attendance of my youth functions. I am beginning to realize, that even for a small community such as Duncan that families are stressed out. Parents are tired. Teens are tired. I am looking into stream lining our youth calendar, to provide more family time, less friction between the youth calendar and less stress in general.

The need for connecting to the Grand Story – The families in my youth ministry context may not cite this need the same way as I have here, but I think that our families need to see themselves as part of the unfolding story of redemption. In order to do this, families must commit themselves to living counter culturally and being passionate about their pursuit of Christ. Our theologies, our doctrine, and our traditions matter little if we are wrong about Jesus. I think our ministries to families and teens must make a big deal about Jesus.

Article Source: http://youth-ministry-resources.com

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